The Adventures of Lily the Cat (As Told By Lily)

An update to my new dry food hatred: I have caught on to my human, and that nighttime snack that smells suspiciously like my dry food, but wet, is in fact a soggy version of my dry food. She can fool me no longer, and I will have none of this! None of this I tell you! So I have now resorted back to my old ways of letting her know I'm hungry regardless of the hour. Ha! See how you like that my human servant!

The Adventures of Lily the Cat (As Told By Lily)

So I've decided that I'm too good for dry food now. Once I got a taste of the good stuff (wet food), I just can't bring myself to eat that poor man's excuse for food anymore. The downside of this decision is that I don't get to choose when I eat. So I've had to become more vocal to let my human know when I'm hungry. No matter the time of day. I find myself most hungry in the morning hours, before the sun has risen. So I've had to become very vocal at that time, because this is when my human is sleeping, so she can't hear me as well. It tends to work, although she gets quite vocal with me back, and seems to take her time feeding me. She's so quick to feed me the rest of the day, so I just can't quite understand why she struggles with this certain feeding. My human has started to leave out a new kind of food overnight, it smells a lot like my dry food, but is soft and wet. I find this to be a fine snack for the night hours while she sleeps, but really I think she's just trying to shut me up. I have to admit, I'm not as hungry in the morning, so I'll let her win this one. For now.

The Adventures of Lily the Cat (As Told By Lily)

So I like to annoy my human as much as possible. I've told you about Marco Polo, but I also have this other game I play of How Slow Can I Walk in Front of My Human? It goes like this: As soon as she wants to walk anywhere, I get right in front of her and walk really slow and make sure to be in her path the entire time. And just when I think she's going to trip, I run off and go lay down. She makes her warbling sound at me in a tone I can only assume is appreciation of how cute I am. I find it greatly entertaining, and just in case she is mad at me, I will go give her cuddles to remind her just how sweet I really am. It works every time.

The Adventures of Lily the Cat (As Told By Lily)

Ever heard of that game Marco Polo? I love that game! So I like to play it whenever I can. My human seems to love playing the game too. I'll just randomly start a round, sometimes I'll even be in the same room as her, just to see if she's paying attention. I've found the best way to play Marco Polo is to be as loud as possible and repetitive until she responds, that way my human knows for sure I'm playing the game. It's so much fun! Especially at night when she's turned out all the lights and is laying in that nice big bed of mine I let her use.

The Adventures of Lily the Cat (As Told By Lily)

So I lost a tooth the other day. It was weird, I was just sitting with my human and it just fell out. My human gave me a weird look as I was sniffing my tooth trying to figure out what had just happened. My human seemed pretty confused too. It was a big tooth! Those little ones are hardly noticeable when they fall out, but this big one seemed to freak out my human. For me it turns out that was the pain I was feeling and hiding from my human! We cats mustn't show weakness!  I feel so much better now though, and can eat like a champ again. My scavenging excursions are going to be even better now! My human keeps annoying me though checking my mouth every few minutes. Sheesh boundaries!

The Adventures of Lily the Cat (As Told By Lily)

Yesterday was my birthday! I turned 13, and now my human really gets to see what I can bring to the table. I have the teenager excuse now. Honestly I didn't even know it was my birthday, but my human started being extra nice to me. I got treats and catnip. It. Was. Awesome. So I knew there had to be a reason, and turns out birthdays are kinda cool. I may have overdone it on the catnip though. I felt pretty stoned out for a bit there, I couldn't move, and I may have even drooled some. Ah well, YOLO! Oh and my human thought it would be fun to film my getting high. Whatevs, I own it. It was fun.

The Adventures of Lily the Cat (As Told By Lily)

My human was talking on the phone the other day and I really really needed to tell her something. I thought it was so rude she was talking to someone else and not paying attention to me all the time. So I decided the best course of action would be to talk to her and get her attention so she would hang up the phone. So that's what I did. I decided that only talking a bit wouldn't do the trick, so I just kept going. She thought petting me would get me to stop, she was wrong. It just made me want to talk louder. She wasn't paying attention to me! Finally she got off the phone, but at that point I was bored, and didn't want to tell her my thing anymore. So I walked away. Man my human is rude.

The Adventures of Lily the Cat (As Told By Lily)

I've been really bored with my food lately. My human seems to think this dry stuff is good for me, and rarely lets me eat anything else. She says it's good for my belly, well I'm guessing that's what she's saying. She rubs my belly a lot while making warbling sounds. Whatever. So I've taken it upon myself to scavenge for food while she's not looking. The other day I found a nice hot tray of delicious turkey fats and juices just sitting there asking to be eaten. How could I say no? My tongue was a little sore after from the scalding liquid, but it was worth it.

My human made cookies the other day, and I thought I'd do her a service and taste test them as soon as she pulled them out of the oven. Again my tongue was sore, but worth it! I feel like she should appreciate my services.

Last night I got to lick the pan of where some sort of meat had been cooked. I didn't much care what kind, the pan tasted amazing! This scavenging thing is becoming so easy! I'll just ignore the fact that my human has caught me every time so far, it just means I need to better my skills. Maybe being quiet isn't working...

Happy Times Ahead

A lot has been going on lately, and I just want to express how happy I am right now. I have a great job, with amazing people I'm so glad are in my life, my friends are amazing and I love them so much, my relationship with my sisters are on the road to recovery, and my nephew melts my heart every day. Life is good. Something I haven't been able to say in almost a year, and man it feels good. I still have some repair work to do personally on other things, but I really haven't been this happy for a long time and I'm loving it.

This year has started off pretty darn good. I hope it continues on this awesome path, because I have so many fun things planned for this year already. It's going to be a kick-ass year.

And then there's this:

 

 

 

You're welcome. 

 

The Adventures of Lily the Cat (As Told By Lily)

So this morning as my human was dressing for the day I decided to go take a poo so that the bathroom would smell all pretty when she went in there (this is a fairly regular thing). But my plans were foiled by this giant spider hanging around my box. The thing was huge! So I decided I would watch where it goes and guard it from my human. She didn't like that so much because I guess I looked like a freak just sitting there staring at the box, so my human decided to look at what I was guarding from her. Now normally I would protect my human from an insect, but this thing was so huge I bolted from the scene as soon as my human revealed its hiding place. She said some cuss words I believe, but I don't know. Most of what my human says is warbled sounds, but I know she didn't appreciate my coward ways. So to make up for it, I decided I would play cute and scared and let her give me loves. Then I decided I had enough, hissed and walked away. I feel this was justified. And as for the spider? I think my human killed it, but I'm going to be cautious around my box for a bit in case it had friends. Man I should have just pooped. I'll figure something out, my human is gone and she won't know for hours.